From great moments in drunken anal hookup failure – are they true stories? I suspect not, but they have a certain anal appeal:
http://deadspin.com/5544702/gay-mexican-edition–great-moments-in-drunken-hookup-failure
My high school girlfriend and I had been talking about trying anal sex for weeks. When I say my girlfriend and I were talking about it what I mean was I was desperately trying to convince her to attempt said sex. Well, she finally consented. One school night I am at her place and we have had a few drinks so she's horny and of course I think it's the perfect time to commence said plan. We started having regular plain old sex doggy-style and in the moment I convince her to let me try it.
I ease it in, she winces, things are going ok. I am picking up steam and thinking this is the coolest thing ever. I guess we didn't hear her Dad pull into the driveway and come into the house. Well, he walks in on us. Now, what is every man's first reaction in that situation? Mine, of course was to pull out, and try to grab something to cover my junk. Guess, what a girls first instinctual reaction is? To clench. She clenched her asshole simultaneously as I pulled out, thus I accidentally gave her a pink sock.
I didn't know what to do. She was in so much pain. She was crying, there was blood. I just stood there and watched as she cried and yelled "I need to go to the hospital!" Her Dad gave me this look that was a combination of disgust, rage, and get the fuck out of here now. I muttered something about how I would call her to see if she was ok and then left. I never saw her again. I am not proud of this story. It's horrible. Assholes should not ever look like that.
Theres another anal story on teh page too:
Here's where the anal beads come into play. She has him sit down and tells him, while swinging around a string of anal beads, that she's going to very slowly insert the anal beads while she goes down on him. Naturally my buddy is a wee bit nervous at the idea, but he's had enough liquid courage to shrug his shoulders and give the go-ahead. So she starts doing her thing from both ends, making sure to mention just before she begins that he has to tell her when he's about to blow his load.
And this is where the tarp comes in. She's blowing and slowly inserting and my buddy, for the most part, is thoroughly enjoying the experience. The beads aren't doing much but she's a consummate professional in the sloppy yawn department. A few minutes in and he's about to go Ol' Faithful. And right as he does, he tells her. And right as he tells her, she yanks out the beads. And right as she yanks out the beads, he blows two loads: one from the front and one from the back. Hence the tarp.
