Anal Sex Tips

How to Introduce a Woman to Anal Play – the “Reach Under”.

Actual full on anal fucking will always have a special thrill for men, your everyday buttman at least. But really, it only makes up a small part of the whole experience of anal sex, especially for most women, who understandably are likely to be a bit nervous about the extremely intense experience of being fucked in the ass.

So, most women want to be encouraged and introduced to anal sex and anal play. (Unless you are lucky enough to meet a woman who already knows she likes anal sex and who is just as interested as you are to include anal stimulation in your sex life.) There is a classic method of anal stimulation which is pretty much perfect for first time anal play with a woman, and that’s the “reach under”.

It’s also perfect for ongoing and everyday anal play – most of the time you are likely to be in a long term monogamous relationship, and the reach under is a good trick to spice up regular sex. It reminds your girl that you adore and want her asshole just as much as every other sexy part of her. Frankly, it’s always been one of my favorite sexual techniques and moves, I can tell it makes my beloveds sex experience hotter and it sure as hell gets me off.

How do you do a reach under? It’s pretty simple, and kind of self explanatory. During regular missionary position sex, put your weight on your left arm, and reach underneath her side and back to cup one of her butt cheeks in your right hand (reverse if you are left handed). In this position it’s pretty easy to lift her butt up a little, angling her vagina so you can stroke into it deeper. I never met a woman who didn’t love this. Then, let your fingers stroke around her vagina and perineum, and pick up a little moisture. And then, while fucking her a bit harder, let your fingertips rub acorss her anus and, after a few seconds to a few minutes, depending on how much you are enjoying just rubbing her asshole, start probing her anus with your moistened fingertips. When you have your fingertip in her asshole, her butt lifted up a few inches in your grip, and you are fucking her nice and hard, you have completed the reach under.

I don’t know about you guys, but if I have her held tight, with my finger being sucked at by her wet asshole, while she is yelling from my hard fucking, pretty soon I am going to have an amazing fucking orgasm. It definitely satisfies that anal desire of mine.

I’ve only had one woman say once to me “Take your finger out of my asshole you prick”, and that was because we were fighting a lot at the time anyway. I ignored her, pushed my finger in much deeper, and the combination of her anger, squirming, and the feeling of her asshole around my finger made me come after a few hard slamming strokes. And you know what? She didn’t seem to mind it a bit afterwards, in fact, she snuggled up to me substantially more enthusiastically than I expected.

Some women, however, can get overstimulated this way, or it will distract them from their vaginal pleasure, so you do have to be aware of how she is reacting. And, especially if this is one of the first times you are going to be doing this with a woman, like a lot of things in life, often less is more. Play with her asshole for a minute, then stop, and just hold her butt cheek. Use your own best judgement as to how fast to move towards having two fingers deep in her bottom ;-}

Chances are good most of my readers already know about the reach under in theory or are happy users of this sex trick already, but even so, I just want to remind you it’s a great trick, women like it, it’s a mind blower, and well worth perfecting.

You see these two things all the time in anal porn movies – either the actor squirts a big stream of sex lube onto the girls anus, ass cheeks, and everything else in view, or he puts a little dab on her anus, then jams his cock in. Neither of these is the right way to use lubes for anal sex.

So, let me suggest, from my experience, the best way to use anal lubes. First, and believe me this is very important, is to make sure you have some hand towels or at the very least paper towels nearby and handy where you usually have sex. If your relationship is new, I suggest hand towels, actual cloth towels, because chicks dig them and appreciate the extra effort. Why towels? Because sex lube is very messy, and to use it right your hands are likely to get sticky and messy and slippery, so you are going to need to wipe your hands off as soon as you have applied the lube. Believe me, the first time you put and lube without wiping your hands, and then try to grab your girls hips and tits and your hand slips off and you leave a mess and she says “Yuucckk”, you will know exactly why towels are important with sexlubes. You can try wiping your hands off on the sheets, or jumping up to grab some clothing or whatever for the purpose, but don’t be a chump, keep some towels ready for sex purposes.

Second, usually it’s better to put the lube on your cock than to try to put it on her asshole. (This is especially true if you are using a condom.) Put a good squirt of lube into the palm of your hand, and grab your hardon and put a coating of lube all over your cock. Try to concentrate the lube on the tip of your cock and the area where it is widest. Make sure you have lube all the way around, you don’t want to have a dry area which will stick and pull her delicate inner rectal flesh.

Sometimes you will want to squirt a little bit more on your fingertips, and apply this to her anus. But it usually isn’t necessary.

(I’m not going to mention here the complexities of using lube for fingering her ass, I’ll leave that for another entry.)

And, sometimes, especially if this is one of the first times you are going to have anal sex, once you have lubed your whole cock, put a little more lube onto your fingertips and apply an extra thick layer on the tip of your cock, to provide a bit of extra slipperiness for the initial entry.

Now, quickly wipe your hands clean and dry. This is the time to put at least one hand on her body, to re-establish physical touch, because during the time you have been lubing up, she has been thinking, and the last thing you want is for her to be thinking too much.

Again, you will want to practice using lubes during regular vaginal sex, to get used to using them, and to get your partner used to them also. But, for regular sex you will want to use substantially less lube. Just don’t make the mistake of never using lube, and then fumbling with it the first time you use it for anal.

So, to recap – put the lube on yourself, more than on her, and be ready to clean up the mess.

The truth is that almost every woman alive is interested and willing to be talked into having anal sex. They’ve heard other women at least talking about it, giggling about it, or bitching about it, and they know it can both hurt, and feel very good. They know the folklore, the mythology of anal sex. And, especially if they haven’t tried it, they know they wouldn’t say no if the right man asked them in the right way to surrender their asshole.

But there is many a slip ‘twixt the cup and the lip. (jeez, does anybody say that anymore? ). It’s only natural that the women, the receiving and more vulnerable partner, is likely to get nervous and a bit scared. The unfamiliarity of it all, using different sexual positions than usual, combined with the mix of anal folklore and the sense of the taboo, is enough to make anybody nervous.

And, especially if you and your partner have gotten a little stale in bed, depending too often on the old reliable missionary position, to jump from that to a face in the bed ass in the air anal sex position is going to be a shock.

Shocked and nervous people are going top have a hard time relaxing the muscles in the anus and rectum. She is going to tighten up, it’s going to hurt a lot more than it should, and there goes your first (and last) anal experience.

Obviously the point I am trying to make here is that if you are smart you will start out by, before you ever mention anal sex, becoming more athletic and demanding in your regular sex lives. As you are fucking, try more positions, stop what you usually do, after doing a few minutes of it, and move her into a position you don’t ordinarily use. Fuck for a few minutes more, and then move her into an anal sex position, for example ordinary doggy style, or on her belly with a pillow or two under her hips. Fuck her hard in that position, and when you come, snuggle with her a bit more lovingly than usual so that she associates that type of sex with extra special loviness from you.

When the time comes for anal sex, and you move into a position she is familiar with and associates with good sex, the chances of her relaxing and loving it just shot thru the roof- just like your mind will when you come deep inside her bottom.