Silent Bob’s Anal Sex Primer

Silent Bob’s Anal Sex Primer (and Picking Your Nose)

Here’s a really fun little article I came across by accident, which I really thought most guys into anal sex would enjoy reading, so go read it.

I don’t agree with a lot of the guys conclusions - basically, I think he’s being way too nice to his women, and that they would like a more dominant approach to ass fucking. But, still, it’s clearly an honest piece of writing, and I’m sure plenty of us will see something of ourselves in his experiences.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot! By the way, the author dude? He’s the real Silent Bob, from the movie Clerks and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, and the other fuckin hilarious Silent Bob and Jay movies.

From the article:

“The first time the concept of ass-fucking was introduced to me was via “The Final Conflict” - the under-appreciated third entry in the original “Omen” saga, starring Sam Neill as the now-adult Damien. He hooked up with this reporter lady, and at one point, they’re getting down. Suddenly, he flips the chick over and buries it, all evil-like, in her dumper. As an eleven year old without the benefit of an internet connection (or an internet, period), I was confused, to say the least. Sure - I knew about conventional sex (I used to shoplift “Hustler” from the local magazine store), but the horror in this woman’s eyes and the physical displeasure she was indicating spoke of some unforgivable act I wasn’t schooled in. I was watching the scene and imagining this dude’s sporting some kind of forked cock (I mean, he IS the devil), that’s got a hydra-like head that’s snapping at this poor lady’s snapper - hence all the crying. I turn to my brother and ask “What the hell’s going on, ya’ think?” And my brother explains that Damien’s getting all sorts of rectal with this chick.

“He’s putting it in her butt,” Brother Don tells me.
“Why?” I ask.
“Because he’s the devil. That’s what the devil does, I guess.”

Now, coming from a Catholic household and six years of Catholic school at this point, you’d imagine that’d be some kind of formative moment for both of us: like, from that moment forward, me and my brother would forever associate (or ASSociate) anal sex with Armageddon… The only Armageddon it introduced was my brother and I growing up to be like “Armageddon me some ass!” ”