A lot of the time, when you are going to have anal sex, it’s kind of a surprise for your partner. (Unless you are both men, then, really, it’s never that big of a surprise) It’s something that happens in the heat of the moment, or at least it should appear that way to your girl, the anal fuckee. But, for you, the anal fucker, even tho it isn’t necessarily something you expect to happen, if you are like me, you are always at least a little bit aware that tonight could be the night to fuck her in the ass. So, while it’s a surprise for her, you need to give it some thought.
Why do you need to give it some thought? Listen, how many times have you heard a girl complain about anal sex? About the guy who tried it once, and it hurt, and she didn’t like it, and she doesn’t want to do it again? That, buddy, is the fucking reason you have to have your ducks in a row if you are thinking about getting her all hot and bothered and slipping your dick into her tight little backdoor.
What do you have to think about?
1. What is the state of her bowels? You _DO NOT_ want to surprise a girl with anal sex if she has a full stomach and possible a full colon. Women are very sensitive about the state of their bowels to begin with, and she is going to be pissed off if you are not also sensitive about it. So, for surprise anal sex, you want to pick a time when she has eaten lightly, and ideally, after she has had the chance to spend some time in the bathroom and taken a good shit.
2. Is the lube handy? How about the towels? Especially for surprise anal sex, when, probably, you are just going to push it into her, she won’t have much time to relax her bottom, so especially then you have got to go heavy on the lube.
3. Are you on her nice bed with the fancy sheets? Girls worry about these things. Do it in your bed.
4. Is she already relaxed and turned on? I’m telling you buddy, if you try to surprise her when she is not already at least a bit delerious from passion, you are asking for trouble. If you are going to try to surprise her by just popping it in, TAKE YOUR FUCKING TIME to get her juiced up first. Don’t mix it in with garden variety slam bam thank you mam fucking. Do it during one of those nights when you are giving her a real workout, when you are already going a bit more slowly, licking her pussy, playing with her asshole with your fingers, and in other ways really making love to her. Then, when you flip her over onto her stomach, with a pillow under her hips, and grab the lube and really lube up your cock, and press the tip of your cock against her anus, she’s just going to grab onto the sheets and say “Oh”, but she isn’t likely to say “No”.
In my experience, women, in the right state of being turned on, with a happy bowel, and not on their nice sheets, like a little anal surprise. Women like it when a man takes charge in the bedroom, they really, totally do.
One final tip – keep it short, and don’t go too deep. Your better off doing it for just a few minutes, with shallow strokes, and either coming fast, or stopping. I’ve had girls tell me, after I stopped during surpise anal, “You can put it back in, if you want to…”, but they always seem to appreciate that I’m concerned for their feelings and I’m not going to just pound away.
